Personal Responsibility

By Jim Rohn

"Don't become a victim of yourself. Forget about the thief waiting in the alley; what about the thief in your mind?

It is not what happens that determines the major part of your future. What happens, happens to us all. It is what you do about what happens that counts.

You say, "The country is messed up." That's like cursing the soil and the seed and the sunshine and the rain, which is all you've got. Don't curse all you've got. When you get your own planet, you can rearrange this whole deal. This one you've got to take like it comes.

Walk away from the 97% crowd. Don't use their excuses. Take charge of your own life.

Take advice, but not orders. Only give yourself orders. Abraham Lincoln once said, "Since I will be no one's slave, I will be no one's master."

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. You don't have charge of the constellations, but you do have charge of whether you read, develop new skills, and take new classes.

Your paycheck is not your employer's responsibility; it's your responsibility. Your employer has no control over your value, but you do."

~Jim Rohn

Total Responsibility By Jack Canfield

TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE

As human beings, we often believe we don't have enough money,
romance, success or joy in our lives. But what we need to
understand is that greatness exists in all of us. It's simply
a matter of pulling that greatness out of ourselves and using
it to get us from where we are now...to where we want to be.

While many people believe they are entitled to live a great
life, top achievers we've met over the years know they must
take 100% responsibility for achieving the lifestyle,
relationships, financial freedom and opportunities they
experience in their lives.

This isn't always easy. But one way to start taking more
responsibility is to begin responding differently to the events
that occur in your life. Remember the formula from Principle #1
of The Success Principles book?

---->>> E + R = O

Event + Response = Outcome. That's right...you can actually
change the outcomes in your life - and get better ones - simply
by responding differently to challenges and opportunities
that occur.

I GOT THIS FROM THE NEWEST ZIG ZIGLAR NEWSLETTER

Responsibility

The "blame game" goes back to the beginning. God told Adam and Eve when He placed them in the Garden that they could have it all, except they were not to eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the Garden.

However, they ate the fruit of that tree and . . . as God walked in the Garden, He called for Adam . . . and asked the question, "Adam, did you eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the Garden?" God already knew the answer but He wanted Adam to respond. Adam, however, did the "manly thing" and replied, "Lord, let me tell you about that woman you gave me!" and that's where the ball started its long, unending roll.

God then asked Eve if she had eaten the fruit, and Eve passed the ball along and said, "Lord, let me tell you about that snake!" And, of course, the snake didn't have a leg to stand on!

Theologically speaking, I know I'm in error when I make that statement. However, I am not in error when I say each one of us must recognize that it is not "his fault, her fault or their fault"--it is our responsibility. To solve the problem, we need to go back to the beginning and teach our children responsibility. Next, we should pass the baton to the teachers in the schools and insist they continue to teach responsible behavior. Then when our young people have learned their lessons well, they will practice responsibility in their personal lives and the workplace as well.

When this happens, the responsibility crisis will end and we'll have a better society as a result. Do your part and when you do, I'll see you at the top!

Adapted from Something To Smile About, published by Thomas Nelson.

Own your life

“Own Your Life!”

By Kathy Gates, Life Coach

The truth is that nobody forces you to think, feel, or behave a certain way. While you may be ostracized by society or even punished if you don't follow certain rules, still nobody else can "make" you do or feel anything. You are not a victim to people or circumstances. This is not to say that you can control all situations, certainly you cannot. But you alone are responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and actions in relation to that situation.

Try it yourself...if you could "make" a person be nicer, wouldn't you do it? Can you "make" someone like you or love you? Can you "make" someone happy? You can create certain circumstances that you think will illicit that "happy" response, but you cannot choose his emotion for him. Another person cannot "make" you cry...you chose to cry because he did not react like the loving and kind person that you wish he were. To say "my heart is broken because of the behavior of (for example) a nasty brother” is inaccurate. The truth is "It's not much fun to have a nasty brother who doesn't celebrate your life, and you wish he would act differently, but you alone get to decide how to react to his behavior."

If you chose to be sad because you feel a loss, that's fine - own it, don't blame him for it. If you choose to be p.o.'d and throw pillows at him, go on ahead; love it, choose it, enjoy it as your own emotion. But if you imbue him with the power of letting him dictate your emotions, you are giving up your power.

Do you really want to spend your life letting other people decide how you feel? Doesn't sound like much fun to me. They might as well tell you what you like to eat, and what you like to wear, and which people you like too....now that's a robot. Use your own mind; make your own decisions about how you feel.

If you're not responsible for your emotions, then who is? If you let others choose all your emotions, are you not also then charged with the responsibility for the emotions of other people? I personally don't want that responsibility of handling another person's preferences in that way...I'll stick with my own, thank you.

Feelings are managed. No, I am not presuming to dictate that a person should feel a certain way in any particular situation. You are entitled to feel whatever you want to feel...happy, sad, mad...and then to translate that to any action. But you are responsible for that feeling and that choice of action, and not entitled to blame others for it. No one can make you feel a certain way anymore than they can make you act a certain way. "I shouted at him b/c he made me mad" is inaccurate. "I shouted at him because I wanted to" is accurate.

But it's not just a matter of semantics or languaging....it's a matter of accepting the feeling as part of who you are. Just as you control your actions, we also control your thoughts and feelings...it's part of the same internal discipline. To believe otherwise, is to believe that everything is a matter of chance, that you do not and cannot affect things in one direction or another.

And that implies to me that we have no control over our minds or bodies...and that to me is a scary thought indeed.

Taken From: http://www.lifeinmotioncoaches.com/articles_files/page0008.htm

Another great article

Personal Responsibility - What Does it Really Mean to Begin Taking Responsibility?

By: Kevin Sinclair

Taking responsibility for yourself involves more than admitting wrong-doings or arriving on time for work: When you make a choice or devise a solution to a problem, you must be accountable for the results or outcomes. To truly take personal responsibility in life you need to let go of any concerns over how others live and the impact that potentially has on you. You need to own your emotions without blaming the actions of others for the way you feel, which certainly sounds simpler than it actually is!

It is absolutely imperative that you cease comparing yourself to others; thinking if you only had what they had you would be leading a higher quality of life. There will always be people who are better and worse off than you in all areas of your life, and from those two groups there will be people who have done less and more than you have. Take responsibility for the way you feel and your attitude to whatever you are faced with each day, and let go of the idea all together that you are in any way a victim to circumstances. The glass can be half full or half empty, and someone who's taking responsibility in life knows it is half full and will work with what they thankfully have.

For a person who considers themselves clueless when it comes to taking responsibility in their life, it is best to start small. Begin by looking at your interactions with other people and the control you possibly attempt to exert over situations. For example, if your partner makes a choice to go and spend their day at the beach and you feel upset because you weren't invited or advised about their plans, do you express this to them when you see them next? Do you say "Why didn't you invite me to the beach? I've been stuck here alone all day! You make me feel like you don't like my company!" This kind of reaction means you are giving away all personal responsibility for your own feelings and your own actions, and you are trying to control the feelings and actions of your loved one.

Take a moment to examine the facts: Every adult has every right to do whatever they choose with their life and their time. This having been said, why should others be made to feel like they should change their plans or desires or live their life according to what you want? When someone who has evolved to the point where taking responsibility comes naturally to them, there will be nothing worse than another person trying to "make" them feel guilty or wrong for doing things the way they want to. Using the above example, a person who has developed personal responsibility will see their loved one isn't around, recognize that they feel a bit bored or lonely at that time, and take responsibility for themselves by choosing to go shopping, or perhaps go to the beach.

You push through the desire to blame other or your partner, get up, go out and do your own thing, and you are opening yourself up to have your own awesome experiences. Maybe that day you bump into an old employer who wants to interview you for an employment opening in his new company, or perhaps you see your English Literature professor at the drug store, giving you a chance to discuss a problem you have with an assignment? When these things happen, and you are on your own path, you feel inspired, motivated and proud of taking responsibility for yourself. It is these experiences that propel you to take further risks, chances and confident leaps of faith to advance in life.

Instead of becoming overwhelmed by the big picture of dreams that seem completely unachievable, focus on the details and do the ground work to become an overall independent person, taking responsibility in every area of your life. If you fail to do this as soon as possible, you are risking entering into a state of regret and frustration, continuing to blame others for your circumstances. Write plans and follow through on every step necessary, the whole time remaining completely aware that you create your reality.

Surround yourself with positive people who are masters at taking responsibility so you don't have people trying to control or blame you for their situation. If you remember never to say to anyone (or think) that they "made" you do or feel something, and if you stay focused on yourself and your own life choices, you can proudly say you are taking responsibility in your life. Of course everything is not going to instantly become perfect, but through learning from the downs and treasuring the ups you will grow to know yourself better and steer your life in the right direction, responsibly.

Great Article

Take Ownership Of Your Emotions

If you're going to work towards happiness, you will need to know who controls your happiness. It’s a fairly common belief that a person can make another person feel bad. “She made me angry.” “He upset her.” “He really pissed the boss off this time.”

I am going to challenge this idea and propose that...

You can not, in any way, ever, MAKE someone feel anything.

When I have talked to people about this idea, they inevitably bring up the time when someone had upset them or made them angry. They say to me, “they caused my anger for if they had not been there, and said what they did, I would not have been angry.”

I can understand cause and effect in the physical world. I push the pencil and it rolls. I drop a glass and it shatters. But cause and effect don’t translate very well into the emotional world.

When someone says something to you, are the words going directly into your brain and switching on your "I'm upset" lever? When someone gives you the evil eye, are they shooting laser beams into your brain pushing your afraid button? When someone makes an unfavorable comment about your hair and you become offended, are they sending invisible "offend waves" causing your response? No, of course not. How can words, sent out as sound waves and picked up by your ears then translate into an emotional response? Is there nothing between those sound waves and your response?

I think people have difficulty understand this concept of responsibility for their emotions because they make no distinction between influence and control.

Influence & Control

There is a difference between the terms influence and control. Influence has the potential to impact. It's indirect. Control has a direct effect on a result. Lets look at one example and see how influence and control play out.

Terry is Mark’s wife. They’re having some financial difficulties and make an agreement to hold off on major purchases until they’re out of debt. One day while shopping, Terry sees a watch she loves and purchases it for $350.00. When Mark sees the credit card bill, he explodes in anger. “How could you?!?, he screams at Terry, “you know we're in debt!”

What caused Mark’s anger? Was it their financial situation? The credit card company? Terry’s purchase? The watch? All of the above?

In this particular case, none of them. Mark believes a “good husband” provides well for his family. When the bill for the watch came due, he almost instantly felt bad about himself for not being able to afford such things for her. His belief about what it means to be a good husband gave Terry's action a particular meaning, i.e.: he's not a good husband because he can't afford the watch. He looks for the cause of his feeling bad and sees Terry. He becomes angry at her for making him feel this way.

Terry, their financial situation, the credit card bill, were all influences on Mark’s belief about what it means to be a good husband. This is worth repeating. People and circumstances can have INFLUENCES on our beliefs. (The perverbial "He pushed my button.") But YOU have direct CONTROL over what you believe. Who controls what Mark believes? Who else could it be, but Mark. If Mark is the steward of his beliefs, then he has the power to examine and change those beliefs if he so chooses.

Outside stimuli like people and events can have influence (triggers) on our beliefs but it’s you and you alone that give meaning to those influences. No one can make you feel anything. Sure, they have influence. But it’s you alone that controls your beliefs.

Still not convinced? Let’s change Mark’s beliefs about what it means to be a good husband and see what happens.

Mark no longer believes he has to provide well for his wife to think of himself as a good husband. (He has a list of other things, but providing well isn't one of them.) It's no longer a prerequisite. They’re in the same situation, struggling financially, and Terry has purchased the expensive watch. Mark sees the bill.

He doesn’t become angry because he doesn’t question his value as a husband, but he is curious what happened since he and Terry had agreed to hold off on major purchases. He asks Terry about the bill. As it turns out, Terry had been feeling the desire for some type of luxury in her life. She’s been scrimping and saving for three months now and wanted to treat herself. She agrees she’s broken their agreement, apologizes and they discuss her feeling deprived. They decide that they will treat themselves to one nice dinner out a month to celebrate their financial restraint.

Mark changed his belief and by changing the belief, he changed his emotional response. Terry and her purchase were only influences on Mark. Those influences were powerless when the belief was changed. If Terry and her purchase were the cause of Mark’s anger, then he would have become angry regardless of his changed belief.

• The good news is no one can make you feel unhappy.
• The really good news is you can not make anyone else unhappy.
• And the really, REALLY good news is you can make yourself happy by adjusting the beliefs that cause your misery.

Claim your beliefs, feelings and actions as your own. Take back the reins of ownership, responsibility, and consequential control that comes with ownership. Let's take that outstretched finger we’ve been pointing at every one else, and turn it back towards ourselves. Not in blame, guilt or judgment, but for answers and growth.

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

-- Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

~Taken from http://www.selfcreation.com/happiness/1_responsibility.htm